Tuesday, July 07, 2009

and everything coincidentally happened

o.o Today, teresa smsed me for the first time after a year after "one particular fucked-up incident happen" i dunno wheter to feel annoyed and assume that she's having some problems in her current social life or just feeling guilty and wanted to say sorry. baah anyways she's in ite simei now. really sad that she didn't do well. Oh well... this is life =X

Monday, July 06, 2009

First post after three years..

This is my first post after dissappearing for three years and I't gonna be quite an emotional one to some.

Today I learnt the real value of friendship..

A couple of days back, the malays in my secondary school organised an outing and left me out and even after my brother manage tried to presuade them, they wouldn't let me go out with them and he made a decision to hang out with me instead of them.I understand my own personality. I'm a very annoying irritating childish immature bastard who always scold vulgar for even the slightest stupid reason and contradicts what people say with irrelevant information.

But especially today..
For the first time, me and my poly classmates went lan-gaming and shopping together, It was really a nice experience being with the people who are close to you and not feel left out even with the way I behave that annoys and irritate them, they are still willing to go out together and have fun.It was really a memorable experience, even for just a short day.

Usually even when going for a class outing with my secondary school peers, I would feel left out as they would always treat me like I wasn't there and in the end I realised that the one who caused them to behave that way is me..

From now on, I have decided to change the way I behave to avoid the same mistakes I made in the past and ironicly feel bad about it when I was the one influencing how people behave towards me.

To anyone in my secondary school, especially my ex-bestfriend whom we broke our friendship with for love.. I dedicate this to you.

Sonata arctica - shamandalie lyrics

In good old times, remember my friend
Moon was so bright and so close to us, sometimes

We were still blind and deaf, what a bliss
Painting the world of our own, for our own eyes, now

Can we ever have what we had then?
Friendship unbreakable
Love means nothing to me
Without blinking an eye
I'd fade, if so needed,
All those moments with you
If I had you beside me

One cloudy day we both lost the game
We drifted so far and away

Nothing is quite as cruel as a child
Sometimes we break the unbreakable, sometimes

And we'll never have what we had then
Friendship unbroken
Love means nothing to me
Without blinking an eye
I'd fade, if so needed,
All those moments with you
If I had you beside me now

I was unable to cope with what you said
Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind
Child that I was, could not see the reason
Feelings I had were but sham and a lie

I have never forgotten your smile
Your eyes, oh, Shamandalie

Times went by, many memories died
I'm writing this down to ease my pain

You saw us always clearer than me
How we were never meant to be
Love denied meant the friendship would die
Now I have seen the light
These memories make me cry

Can I ever have what I had then?
Friendship unbroken
Love means nothing to me
Without blinking an eye
I'd fade, if so needed,
All those moments with you
See the world with my wide open eyes

Friendship got broken
There's no other for me
Like the one of my childhood
Can you forgive me?
Love got better off me,
On that day back in old times...